Discussion on my Story: Kito!

Hey there folks! As many of you may know, I have a fantasy, action-adventure story that I’ve been working on since I was 8 years old. It’s called Kito. It started life as a silly comic I ripped off from my favourite anime at the time, Bleach (see if you can see the elements that stayed from that time), but when I was about 11 I started taking the idea of it being a completely original work far more seriously :smile:

It became a full comic at that point (as full as an 11-year-old can draft and ink alone, anyway) with full 20-24 page issues and a long-form plan on where I wanted to take the series. The stories, characters, villains, etc. Though there were a few things that I obviously hadn’t thought up yet! That being the magic system, the history of the world(s), and most importantly the themes and messages of the story. It wasn’t until I was around 16 that I started planning something that would touch on these aspects of the story.

And so, in the summer of 2015, I started work on a book. Giving up on the comic version of Kito entirely, I redrafted the story, worked on a very in-depth history and a wide cast of diverse characters. This version by far had the biggest cast of any draft of Kito. It also had the biggest world. Split into hundreds of worlds, and I’d build the history and relevance of these as I went, managing to build dozens of densely explained worlds that the characters would visit over the course of the extremely anime-inspired adventure story. However, the themes still hadn’t really crystalised and - to be honest - that attempt was also a little shoddy in the writing department.

So we come to this latest attempt, this newest draft. I streamlined the world - down to five worlds each with dense, intricate histories that intertwine in ways that affect the story told in the series itself. I slashed the main cast by over half, a lot of the characters being made side-characters and giving each member of the main team a solid role, history and personality. Not to mention a specific reason to be there. I gave the main character: Kito a much stronger motivation for getting proactively involved in the story and made his wife: Katy an equal lead for the story who I plan on giving exactly equal time in later books as the PoV character. This streamlining made it much easier to focus on the ideas and themes I wanted touch upon. There are a lot of them, too, that’s the wonderful thing about fantasy. And with the help of the lovely @ShanniiWrites as editor, this draft became easily the best draft of Kito ever. I can’t wait to get more of it up on the internet and see if people actually like it or not :smile:

This isn’t the promotion thread, this is simply a discussion. If you have any questions, any criticisms or want to talk about my story at all, please do so here! You can find the promotion thread and the weekly updates over here

Any thoughts you have on the series would be wonderfully appreciated, and thank you for reading this. I hope this gave you insight into the strange mind of Loogie :sweat_smile:


May come across as narcissistic, but I did promote the Forums as somewhere to discuss my story on Tapas soooooooo

Woo! \o/


So many reminders. Thank you for your hints (wink)

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Just started reading it! I love it so far :relieved::sparkles:

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of course :joy:

Thank you :pleading_face: Let me know your thoughts when you finish :hearts:



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Already added it to my list on Wattpad. Will read it when my brain cells have regenerated.

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Thank you :sob:

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Just finished reading it on tapas. Can’t wait for more!

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Yay! I’ll be posting another part on Tapas soo, since I need to split up my chapters on there :smile:


Can we please discuss what a great character Kito is? I mean, I liked him and his personality after a few sentences already!

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