Promote Your Story by its Hook or First Paragraph!

Hooks and opening liners are one of the main subjects that really draws and brings people in to your story! A really good opening line or paragraph plays a key role into whether the reader will continue reading. So, try your luck here! Basically, write the first paragraph of your story here (or for a challenge, just the first sentence) and if people are interested by it, you tell them the title. I’m interested to see your creations! :eyes:

@Writers


I guess I should start.

I’m not finished with many I’m working on now, so here’s an older one that is no longer published, but just an example for this thread.

Rain. Had it always felt so empty? So… meaningless? Each drop lasted for eons yet naught; felt like a blessing yet a curse. This was all a dream, right? Yes, it had to be! The dirt and mud under my fingernails, the concrete trapping me to whatever that thing was that was after me, and the dreaded footsteps approaching me… All of it must be a fabrication woven through dreams. It had to be. And this cheap imposter of Yua; the dead eyes staring at me, they were-

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Here's the first paragraph of my story

Life gives you a lot of different options to get to where you want to be. However, sometimes you just have to wait for your turn. Scarlet has been waiting for her turn for years now and lost hope when she needed it most. All her life, it wasn’t her who made the decisions. Destiny and faith brought her to where she is now. With her parents being taken away from her too soon, she has inner battles to fight while surviving on the outside as well.

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It took an age for the dust to settle. The battle had ripped up the landscape around them, already alien and ravaged though the city was – it had been the last stand for both sides of the war effort. Finally, it seemed, it was coming to an end. Three days the battle had raged – and the two sides, until now, had been locked in an infuriating stalemate. The Alliance had thrown everything they had into this last desperate attempt to finally halt the enemy they had struggled with for so long – Xan, the Black Flame and his Necromantic Army.

:eyes:

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Not finished yet

With the twins both coming of age in this the 18th year of their birth,

It is time for the title of heir be bestowed on one of them,

We are in a period of peace with our neighbours,

With that in mind, it will be the first one to…

Produce the next heir will be given the

Title of Crown Prince"

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This is cool! Here are mine. :smiley:

Latest Novel

As a kid, it was always easy to tell myself, “When I grow up, I’m never going to be like Mum and Dad.” In retrospect, parents don’t have it easy. There’s a thousand and one ways in which things could go wrong. Most of the time, those wrong things are just small ripples in the current of time that eventually rights itself again. And then, there are those rare occasions - those that you never think will happen to you - where the small ripples are compounded and cause a large tidal wave that leaves nothing but destruction.

Completed Novel

If one were to imagine the abode of God, it would pale in comparison to the resplendent beauty and grandiosity of the Supreme Hall in the Forbidden City. High ceilings with intricate patterns were supported by red strong wooden beams that spanned the entire 37 meter length of the majestic hall. In the center lay the sandalwood throne, sitting on a raised platform. Dragons decorated the entire surface of the throne, symbolizing the powerful ancestry of the person who occupied its seat.

Anthology

Standing on the steps leading to a small cabin, the brunette swept her eyes over her surroundings, from the snow-capped mountains in the distance to the vast sprawling land in front of her. All was silent, save for the loud chirping of the crickets. The narrow dirt road she had traveled down was empty of vehicles. Tall grass on both sides of the road stretched to the horizon as far as she could see, swaying along to the touch of the gentle breeze. There was no sign of any living thing in the vicinity.

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Not a full story, but a short story I’m writing for an adopt

"From the day she was born, Streamtail knew she would die on The Battlegrounds.

The dry, barren land between the four clans, littered with dead cats and broken dreams, would most certainly be her fate, for she had no particular affinity for herbs or medicines, nor did she have any outstanding hunting or tracking skills. She was an anomaly, a fish out of water, and, quite frankly, expendable."

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Everyone’s are so good, I’m ashamed about mine-

From my "Priority" Novel

It is the will power that makes a kiva who they are… or, at least , that’s what Ciarre Atarda tells herself.

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I stare out the window, noticing every little detail of the roads, trees, cars, a few houses. I have been watching, waiting, for change to come. But change never comes when I need it. I clutch my necklace with hope. I want hope. As the Nazi’s tear through families, who were once whole but now cracked and screaming…it hurts to think about what they have done. This whole ordeal should end soon, right? But the blood, the torture says otherwise.

I did all that to make sure no one steals it :pleading_face:

Here’s mine :eyes:

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Nothing to see here, just a Wattpad oneshot.

A year, maybe two, but no more than that. That was the prognosis Kaito had gotten, even after seeking out dozens of second opinions, sinking millions and risking it all on expierimental treatments, visting bunkers where some of the naturally immune offered up blood for the infected. “There’s nothing we can do,” They’d said. “This virus isn’t like anything we’ve ever seen before; It’s not of our world,” They’d said. “Take advantage of what little time you have left,” They’d said. “Live life to the fullest.”

“Live life to the fullest”?

“Live life to the fullest”. The thought of it almost made Kaito laugh. All those people who’d told him that, over and over and over again… If they could take his broken body for a day; If they could feel the pain he felt, the mucus that filled his lungs and intestines, the blood that coated the inside of his throat, the acid-like burning that ate away at his muscles; If they could feel what it was like, maybe just for a second, they wouldn’t want to “live life to the fullest”. They’d rather die, if there truly was no cure. And then they’d finally understand what Kaito really wanted. “Live life to the fullest”. He’d rather die. And take the whole world with him, while he was at it.

Though maybe he was getting ahead of himself.

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All right I am joining in!

Birth of a Sin

The night had been a complete mess for Roger.
It was supposed to be a simple guard shift over the shipments. Standard evening making sure no one tried to steal the product, the trucks came on time, etc.
It was supposed to be boring.
It was supposed to be easy.
There was a tiny hitch.
Seraph had arrived.

Drained

Mrs. Collins gazed out the window, her eyes narrowing slightly as she tried to see past the thick fog. It seemed that the only light that penetrated through the mist what the false orange and yellow glow of the light poles…or perhaps of the houses along their shared road. It was a familiar yet oppressive view to her; the lights looked like glimmering, blurry eyes gazing back at her, studying her. The hair on the back of her neck stood on ends, a shiver accompanying the little bumps along her skin as she looked away from those glowing eyes.

Letters Between Sex and Violence (Anthology)

“Ugh!! I hate that stupid cripple!” Cana slammed her foot against the thick plastic of the desk, her pink leather, and black embroidered mary-janes almost getting scuffed from the impact. Her arms crossed over her chest, “Who does she think she is? Embarrassing me like that!”

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Im keeping my story names secret but here are some glimpses. They’re not final but… here they are.

TAAHC

“I was cultivated to be desired.
And I was also molded to be intelligent.
Beauty is dangerous
Intelligence is lethal
Together they are fatal.”

SVP

“What is a god without believers?
Simply a myth.”

QOSAS

“Never trust a survivor without knowing how he survived.
I trusted.
And so I died.”

DOAH

“Innocence is precious. And so it is the first casualty of war.
But do not discriminate through wars.
It is a war to fight for freedom
Just as it is a war to fight through abuse.”

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Miss Understood

We all know that one girl, the most popular girl in high school. You probably fear her, you want to be her, or you want to be with her. Usually, she’s rich, gorgeous, and intelligent. There isn’t one party that she isn’t invited to.
But… what happens to this girl after high school, or even after college?
I can tell you exactly what happens to popular girls once they graduate from school.
I know because I, Emilianna, am one of them.

The Write Team

Technically, all of this is shown, not written, because I used a more cinematic approach here, but this would be the first scene if it were written…
VANESSA
After dealing with entitled customers all morning, Vanessa’s shift was finally over. As she exited the diner, her phone buzzed. Thinking her sister was texting her, Vanessa checked her notifications, only to find a message that would change her life forever.
ELLIE
Ellie, on the other hand, was still stuck at her desk. Working as an editor wasn’t what she thought it would be. Her expectations were that she’d get to actually create her own textbook exercises, replacing those boring exercises that kids hated for ones they’d actually be interested in. But no, all she did day in and day out was proofread and correct errors.
MIRA
Renata was going on and on about the lecture, but Mira couldn’t care less. As she ate her chicken sandwich, she halfway listened to Renata and halfway zoned out, thinking about what she’d rather be doing. Writing her story, that’s what. The buzzing of her cellphone brought her back to reality.
MEI
“Are they crazy??!!” Mei screamed. “Who in their right mind would return a succulent, exquisite, home-cooked meal??”

“T-the customer said that h-he doesn’t eat spicy food…” stammered Vijay, the delivery guy. “He shoved the order back at me once he saw the word ‘spicy’ on the receipt.”

Mei’s phone buzzed at that moment, and Mei, thinking it was the rude customer, was ready to give him a piece of her mind. But what she saw had nothing to do with customers or food delivery…

EMMA
What a letdown! The first day of junior year had been one big disappointment. In just one day, Emma had gone from popular to outcast. But at least she had defended a couple of ninth-grade girls from her bully ex-friends.
All she wanted to do was relax and enjoy her Dr. Pepper and chocolate-covered pretzels in the comfort of her bedroom. She checked her phone, half-wondering if her ex-friends would try contacting her, despite the fact that she had blocked them on every social media platform. But no… Emma’s mouth dropped open in shock. She couldn’t believe who had just sent her a message!

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Bump! Anyone got any good intros? I love reading them. :blush:

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Hey Danielle, I love that you wanna keep things active, it’s great. Though you know that just writing bump doesn’t really help to bump threads, you have to actually add something for users to contribute to or discuss. Maybe like commenting on their stories or something?

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Ah okay. :blush:

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I did really love the Write Team Episode sorry. Good job!

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Ooh! Now I want to read Drained!

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Hehe go and check it out! If you want to read it up, here is a link: https://tapas.io/series/Drained-A-Vampire-Noir-Complete

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Bump! These intros are so good! I bet they will be better if more people participate!

Bump! Any have a good one?